Wander wander wander
I wonder as I wander aimlessly into a future
I have somewhat planned.
One that exists from the footprints that I have laid on this land.
One that I hope for myself in conjunction with one that society has designed.
To plan is to think, to think is to imagine.
My thoughts are always swaying as my imagination, although nonchalant, is obstructed by constructs –
Some religious, some western, some cultural and some from my inherent lack of self esteem and/or self worth.
I work, I work, I work then wander into a wilderness that becomes estranged from the cultivation of deep affection where roses grow without petals, where the seas are so dried up, there’s not enough depth to see our pebbles ripple.
I wander, hungry for peace, and longing for nourished souls desiring to replace our resistant forsaken soil with ardent tenderness,
Every so often I have travelled the blue marble for survival, dissociating when it gets too stressful,
I take flight to the upper echelon of my encephalon as I feel too frail to confront or fight,
Just to encounter rivals with nature contrary to revival.
I ponder, then wander, then wonder
Non stop pacing,
A vicious cycle of romanticising what could be, what if
I didn’t come.
