Poet and youth worker Dean Oke studied Community Development and Social Policy, and has a postgrad in youth work – and his poetry reflects this interest in community issues and social justice.
He’s an emerging poet with a strong social conscience and an advocate for youth voices.
We talk about whether there’s enough room for young people’s voices in literary spaces right now, the importance of spaces like the YMCA and Sauti in Cork, and what the future could look like in this regard.
Dean also explains the importance of his faith in his life and in his writing, and reads several of his poems, including ‘26 And Feeling Awkward’ and ‘Hard Times’.
Thank you Dean for being so open and articulate about mental health struggles, I’m sure a lot of people will relate to what you’re saying.
Thanks to the Arts Council for their funding support.
previous eps: Chandrika Naryanan-Mohan // Noor Hindi
Dean Oke – Transcript
Bairbre Flood: Hi and welcome to Wander with me Bairbre Flood, and with thanks to the Arts Council of Ireland for their funding support, hope ye’re keeping well!
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My guest today is poet and youth worker Dean Oke.
Dean Oke recently performed at the ‘Let The Pen Speak’ Outsiders Event in Cork and creates short videos for social media with his poetry. He studied Community Development and Social Policy, and has a postgrad in youth work and his poetry reflects this interest in community issues and social justice.
He’s an emerging poet with a strong social conscience and an advocate for youth voices.
We talk about whether there’s enough room for young people’s voices in literary spaces right now, and what the future could look like in this regard.
Dean also explains the importance of his faith in his life and in his writing, and reads several of his poems, including ‘26 And Feeling Awkward’.
This is Dean Oke:
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Bairbre Flood: Do you think that there’s enough space for young voices in the literary world or just in general in our culture? Do you think young people are given enough space to articulate themselves?
Dean Oke: I don’t think there is enough space in terms of, for like young people to articulate themselves regarding the fact that I think you’re just not aware of those spaces ’cause I am not too sure of where to actually go. So if I didn’t know about Rafa and Fionnuala, then I wouldn’t have gone to an open mic or, if you don’t know about the YMCA in Cork has their Monday night Live for younger people. Obviously I can’t go ’cause I don’t, I am like too I’m too old, but I also work in the field, so I can’t do that.
There’s like a conflict, but it’s like you don’t really know about it because it’s not popularized in a sense, but also you’re just not told about those places. And they don’t really happen as frequently.
So like with the Friday, with the one run by Ula and Raffa and so on, that one at least happened weekly versus some of the places that are like every two weeks, once a month.
So it’s not as, it doesn’t really gain enough attention as it should, because if it did, then you might have it like all the time.
Bairbre Flood: It’s always hard, as a younger person because you don’t have as much maybe influence or connections or money and whatever.
I don’t know, like it’s harder maybe to create those spaces, but I think, do you see that as something that could happen maybe more in the future, like young people creating their own spaces?
Dean Oke: Yeah. ’cause I think like outside of what I do, like I work with young people and I always want to encourage young people to try stuff and explore different avenues and I think with youth projects, helping young people support them in that kind of way, then especially ’cause there’s always like grants for like arts based, like projects.
So I think if you can find, if you can almost push it with young people, I think they would create those spaces. But I think they need like a good foundation. Because I think if I had because I did for a bit YMCA, like Monday Night Life, I learned how to do a little bit more spoken word stuff and then I could then transfer it over to other spaces.
So then if I wanted to try and set up with young people, I have that foundation. So I think the more young people have that ability and spaces, then they might organise themselves. ’cause if you don’t live in the city, you might live like in Clonakilty, or you live far out, then you might have to then want to set up, but you want to know.
What it looks like first, so then you can replicate it somewhere else. But I think it would start to happen more. So if there’s more spaces and it’s not once a month.
Bairbre Flood: Yeah. The YMCA are doing amazing things. Yeah. Zen Is it? Zen the last quote. Zen, yeah. Yeah.
Would you read a poem? Is there something you’re working on at the moment or something that you’ve written a while ago or whatever? It’s all completely up to you.
Dean Oke: Yeah. I, it was actually funny, so I wrote, so I’ll give you like a funny not funny. It’s it’s funny to me because it was like, for a good number of months I was not writing any poem.
I was not getting any kinda inspiration and it wasn’t even oh, no writer’s block. It was just more of nothing was coming. And then I think in the middle of the last day of like the 28th of December, I just got inspired and then wrote up home. Then this last month I’ve written like three or no, last month in January I wrote three different poems and one I’m working on called, I called it I Don’t Love myself.
Which again, it started, I wasn’t feeling negative, but I got inspired. So then it ended in a really positive way. But what was funny was before that poem, I’d written a poem called 26 and Feeling Awkward. ’cause I think a lot of, like you said earlier, like when you write poems sometimes or write, it’s like a good medium to let emotions out.
Dean Oke: So I wrote 26 and feeling awkward because I was like. Suddenly I was walking, talking to people, and I started feeling really weird. I turned 26 and I suddenly felt really awkward all of a sudden, like a month earlier, I was like, in December, I’m 25. Ah. Then I turned 26. I’m like, oh, hello person.
This is really awkward. But it was one of those things where it was like, if I keep this in, I’m definitely gonna be like, this is so weird and I’m gonna keep feeling this until like I address it, which I think is really important.
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Dean Oke: So since I talked about it, I’ll read
‘26 and feeling awkward’
Suddenly I can’t talk, even though that’s the essence of my whole job. It is strange and I don’t understand. It’s like someone has taken their hand and put it over my mouth and my brain is up in the clouds. Let me explain. I walk into shops and I say hi. Then I question, why did I say hi like that?
I asked for help, but the person looks so confused that I’d say something wrong. I’m sure I asked for vitamins, not a bong. So I try to explain, but I get all tongue tied. It’s like my brain is fried. Oh, why? I’m 26? And feeling awkward. I’m 26 and I’m feeling awkward. Awkward. What is going on? I dunno.
So I wrote this song. It’s like my brain and mouth are disconnected, like my body received something nasty and it got rejected. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Do I need to sleep or maybe therapy or praying to Jesus on both knees? It feels like a part of me has been silenced, being held back and I don’t understand it.
After I turned 26, things started to go amiss. Maybe when my brain is fully developed, but why like this? I’m 26 and feeling awkward. Awkward. I’m 26 and I’m feeling awkward. Awkward. What is going on? I dunno. So I wrote this song, maybe I just need to drink some Barry’s Tea. Even though I don’t really drink tea.
God help me because you always do. So I’ll cast my cares on you. I’m 26 and feeling awkward. Awkward. I’m 26 and I’m feeling awkward. Awkward. What is going on? I don’t know. So I wrote this song. All right. Excuse me. I’m gonna go sleep. That’s it.
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Dean Oke: Yeah. No I definitely feel like it would, ’cause I think that’s one why a lot of times when I do write poems, it is for me, but it is because I know other people can relate to it. And I feel like that was something that I was like, yeah, this is just strange. And then and people probably, and I was like, maybe people feel like this like a lot or all of the time they feel strange and awkward and don’t know how to react.
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Dean Oke: You may have woken up and everything was just fine, normal day, getting ready for the day, but you feel some way inside trying to act like trying to act like all is normal, like there’s nothing wrong. You even go and play your favorite song. You look in the mirror, you look at your world and you let out a cry.
Sometimes we fall on hard times, things we never expected to happen in our lives. Hard times. Hard times. It’ll be okay, child, you’ll get through these hard times. People have lost somebody. A body that was someone to them gave them the strength to carry on, and now you want to give up. Don’t let the rain tell you how to feel.
Just put your jacket on and keep on going. It hurts that this person is gone. It hurts that you and them can no longer have fun within you, is their legacy that you can carry on even though you can’t see their face and this is hard for you. Just know that they are proud of you. They believe you will see every challenge in their life through hard times come, especially when we wish that they didn’t.
Dean Oke: You might think that you can’t cope. That you can’t overcome, but that is just untrue whether you lost a job or going through a breakup. Hard times can become soft times if you’re surrounded by those that you love. If you don’t have the power to carry on, then I’ll pray to God to give you what you need because your journey’s not done.
It may have hit a roadblock on your way, but that roadblock must go away ’cause you’re going to do great things. It may not seem that way, ’cause everywhere you look is just pain. But hard times make strong people, hard times come and go, but you will stay firm. My sisters and bros. Don’t let this keep you down and out, because sometimes we fall on hard times.
Then it just means we get to dust ourselves off and get back up and do it all again. Hard times does not mean the end. Just keep the faith. And Jesus will take care of it. Times are hard, but there’s always gonna be a new day.
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Dean Oke: Because I started writing poems when I was 12, so I was, I’ve been writing for like over 10 years, and I think the, what I feel like the learning and advice they give is you should just keep you get better at writing by writing, but it’s not, you’re not trying to copy or. Emulate someone else.
’cause a lot of influence definitely comes from like rap music, but I don’t, I didn’t wanna do the certain themes that I read in rap music, but I liked how it, it kinda came across, but I’m not a rapper, so I’m not trying to copy someone else or mimic what they do you. But you’ll go through those phases of where you’ll.
Try to just sound like them if you do spoken word or you might write like this person ’cause you like the way they sound. But navigating that is good because lists, having like different influences helps you then figure out what works for you, what doesn’t work, what sounds good. And I think, but you should just write and, but also don’t like force.
Dean Oke: I don’t think you should force writing. I think if you feel inspired. You’re not wrong. If you don’t feel inspired in that moment, it’s actually fine. It just means that maybe you’re not in the right mood, you’re not in the right space. Nothing’s happening that requires you to write, but I think if it does come about, then just keep writing, keep going, and not try to be someone else because there’s people that look.
There’s people that can write poems in a way that they’re like, I can turn the sun to the sun and rise. And they’ll be manipulating words. I’m like, brother, I’m just gonna talk about how I had a hard day. Like I may not be able to necessarily do that. Now I can improve and I can learn and I try to get better at it, but I’m not trying to reach the this person’s level when I need to reach my own level and find myself, ’cause they’re being themselves when they do all that stuff.
’cause it’s like we don’t compare when we look at, say. I dunno, pop artists, it’s we’re not gonna call Sabrina Carpenter the same as Ariana Grande. We’re gonna be like, oh, they’re completely different people, but they make pop music, but they’re their own identity. So have your own identity and then do what you do in that way.
Dean Oke: Instead of trying to be like, I wanna sound like Sully Breaks, or Clayton Jensen, or all these kind of other spoken word people. It’s no, I’m gonna be me. And then if that works, that will work. It is not even that. If it will work, that will work because people will go, you have a story to tell.
And that story will be heard by people that need to hear us.
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Dean Oke: What is that sound? Am I dreaming? Am I in heaven? I open my eyes, sit up in my bed. I look at the time, I’m suddenly filled with dread. I look at my phone. The time is 10 past 10 and not nine past 10. I’m looking, I’m late for class. This is not fine. I throw the dove that has wrapped itself around my body on the ground.
I run into the shower. I go with a toothbrush in my left hand and toothpaste in my rice. I have to do everything at once and I have to get a rice. I put my green hoodie on that has the ninja turtles on the back. I wear my brown cargo pants with some black shoes. It’s time to move fast. I round down the stairs.
Whoa. I run past my dad. Whoa. I run into the labor room to grab my iPad. I rushed for the door. I shout out goodbye. My dad says, don’t you want some toast? I say, no thanks, but my stomach says, what a lie. I close the door, run some more. Can’t be lace, can’t be late. I promised my mom that I’d graduate. The sky is pretty blue.
Dean Oke: No clouds to cover me. Sun piercing my skin. I feel like I’m in an oven, but there’s no time to think about that. I gotta catch the bus. Bus 2 0 5. I gotta make it past all the, all I gotta get. I gotta make it past all the chaos outside. Horns, screaming, laughing, all that noise. I must remain calm. I must remain poised.
I started to run on the broken up footpath past the red brick wall of the old church. I dodged a woman with the pram like Kosh tank. Can’t you see him running here? Run for a while. Gotta get to class. Why do my legs feel slow? I gotta make them go fast. Suddenly I see the bus. I can’t let it leave. Forget looking left and right.
I got across the street, but I don’t see the truck. Whoa, I don’t see its lights. I just see my mom’s face. Is this it? Does this man not see me? Am I gonna die? Please God. Or why time to get up? Ring time to get up. I don’t want to get outta bed. I wish that I was dead. I don’t want to get outta bed.
I wish I was dead. My alarm has gone off. It’s the crack of dawn. I don’t remember last night. I dunno what I was on. Where am I? My vision is a little hazy. Who is this next to me? Oh my gosh. It’s Hailey. At least I think her name is Hailey. I don’t want to get up. I’m so fed up. Forget sleep. I go and shower.
Dean Oke: I sit in the bathtub and let the water run over me. Two, three hours go by. I’m still sitting here. I guess I should get up and go downstairs and clear the beer. I probably drank, but not as much as my stepdad and mom. They like to be crazy, acting like they’re young, having all the fun. I walk downstairs, the house is a mess.
I pick up all the rubbish while I do my best. I. I see. My mom was sick all over her. I just turned my head. I just turned my head. I look down on my watch. It’s 10 past 10. I’m not late for college, but I’m late for work. Again, college never spoke to me or my pocket, especially when your parents are always outta pocket.
So I walk to the door with my red beanie green work vest and cargo shorts, and leave the house. I don’t run. That’s no fun. I take the senior route to work. The one pass the drug deals, the cougars and the sex workers. Yes, they start early. Lately I’ve been having thoughts, dark thoughts. They tend to come during moments with the, with when the parents fall.
Dean Oke: Today, it feels just a little bit worse, but I’ll be all right. I walk past the spiral on my rise. I see from a distance. That old church with a red brick wall, that’s where my parents got married. I hate the weather. It’s too hot for me to handle. Everything is too much to handle. But I’ll be all right. I’ll be all right.
I start to pounding ’cause I start hearing voices telling me to die, telling me I’ll go away. If I die, I push it aside. I keep walking. It just gets louder and louder. I suddenly get distracted by a guy who looks drained. He’s wearing a green hoodie, can’t see what’s on the back of it. I wonder what he’s going through.
I get a bit closer. The voices say, push, push, push. I don’t get it. The guy runs across the street, doesn’t he see the truck? Doesn’t he have somewhere to be? Why you standing there? You could die. No, you can’t die. You can’t die. I run and I push him so that,
Whoop.
Dean Oke: Suddenly I’m on the ground now. My pants ripped with blood running down my face.
I can hear sirens. I can hear screaming. I have a ringing in my ear. Everything is hazy. I rub my eyes and what I see amazes me. I see a guy on the ground with a red bean and a green vest. His eyes are void of life. Blood all over his face. I think he’s dead. I think he’s dead. I think he saved my life. I think he came right on time.
Whoop, whoop.
Dean Oke: I can’t believe he’s dead. I should have gotten here earlier. I should have seen the signs. I’m sorry, Joshua. It’s not your fault, Haley. If only I bid on time. Maybe TikTok. Don’t wait for the clock. Don’t wait to be on time. Speak to your friends ’cause there’s no greater time than the present.
Be it on time starts now.
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Dean Oke: I think for me, like my faith in, in as a Christian is like really, is really important to me and the way that I write because I think I always want people to be encouraged ’cause I read the Bible and I get encouraged and I feel like a finding, like for me, I.
Christ is like the answer. And I think he gives me that strength and I think he can give that strength to anyone and to anyone that looks for it. ’cause I think, if you’re, don’t chase after religion ’cause that’s what I have. I have faith in Christ and I think that’s what will help you a lot of times because there’s times like I have diff, I think for me, I’ve different mediums of dealing with things and one of them is writing poems and also is praying and I pray and I’ll talk to God and be like, Lord, I dunno what to do today.
Like things are stressing me out. And I think it’s good to have. That outlet, whether it is, in faith in Christ or, overall for me it is faith in Christ, but, or writing stuff down. Just don’t keep it in. I feel just don’t keep all these things inside because my sister always says it to me is you don’t know when it might boil over in the wrong place at the wrong time.
We’re meant to be doing an interview for a job and then you break down. It’s like that’s not when you want to be dealing with your emotions. You want to make sure that it is not, or not even dealt with, but that you address it and that you give it the time to. You go through the motions because there’s times I get up and or you go out and things, because of working with young people, things might overwhelm me and I’m like, Lord, help me to help them because I don’t want them to feel burdened.
And that’s, and I deal with them. That’s how I’m able to address those issues that I’m experiencing or what they’re dealing with. So I don’t think it’s good to then not let it out or express it to anyone. So I think that’s just important for me anyway.
Bairbre Flood: Yeah. And do you see a relationship between spirituality and religion and your writing? Do you feel like the creative process is also almost like prayer as well? There’s an element of that in it, or?
Dean Oke: Yeah, I would because I definitely say like my other inspiration, definitely. I think I mentioned earlier like I definitely get inspired by God as well. I think he like, I think when it’s necessary, especially if those negative emotions are there, I think it is almost like praying, ’cause I’m then letting it out.
So if I’m mentioning, I’m like, Lord, the Lord Jesus will take care of this or he’ll deal with this. And I think that is me praying it out and I’m like letting it come out as well. And it’s that connection because I think, when you do pray it is that release. That you’re having.
’cause you’re like saying, Lord, take care of this. I’m casting all my struggles on you. And it’s like when I’m writing, I’m like casting whatever negative thing I’m feeling onto somewhere else. So I feel like it is tied together. Yeah. ’cause it is almost like an indirect way. I’m like, I am praying, but I’m not praying, but I am.
Because God is always because he is listening. So he is I hear you Dean. You’re feeling awkward. Don’t worry about it.
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Bairbre Flood: Thank you so much, Dean again, and I’ll be onto you and we’ll hopefully see you over the summer. And yeah, thank you so much for this.
Dean Oke: No, thank you. I appreciate the time. I appreciate the space that you gave for me and the time to listen as well. So I thank you.
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Bairbre Flood: A huge thanks to Dean Oke for sharing his words and art with us.
He posts videos of his poems on instagram – go over and give him a follow – at deanstoneyoke
Dean is going to be one of the performers at our live event this July in Cork. Same venue as last year – the Laneway Gallery on Shandon St. On the 19th July. If you follow me at bairbreflood, I’ll post up there more details closer to the time.
We’ll have the digital art by Silvio Severino with many poets and musicians, and the first showing of our new poetry films – also created by Silvio. It’s gonna be a great event, so put the 19th July in your diaries and see you there!
Thanks again to the Arts Council of Ireland for funding all this and thank you for listening, from me Bairbre Flood, bye for now!
